By the time I was 6
I had decided many things
I had learned many things
like treat people with respect
help people who were broken down on the road
help people who were hurt
or poorer than us
I had learned many things like that
from my parent
my grannies
my aunt mae
but there were other things no one taught me
not my family
not the preacher
not television
I just decided them on my own

I decided
if they sent me to war at 18
I would not kill
even if it meant I was killed
for I was sure to be sent to war
meant to be killed
and I would not have my last action on the earth
to be taking another’s life

I decided
nightmares were things to keep to yourself
for if they were silly fears
there was no need to share them
if they were real fears
then you just had to face them
so I never shared them

I decided
other people had strange ideas
about how to act
what to like
who to like
they would not like for me to like
the things I like
the people I like
they would not like for me to be
who I am
but I liked who I am
their rules were silly
so it did not matter
I would just not point out to them
who I am
I would just be
who I am
and everyone would be happy
with their silly rules
and I would be happy being me

I decided
god did not live in ‘god’s house’
god was not an old man with a beard
god was in the rock I found on the beach
in the dogwood blossom
that floated all the way across the yard
to land at my feet
god was in the flowers that my granny planted
in the dirt she planted them in
in the ants that crawled in the dirt
god was in threads on my blanket
in everything I could see and touch
and all these god things were special
and should be treated that way

I remember these decision
like they were yesterday
and while I was only 6 years old
when I decided
in all these decades
I have never changed my mind