Today I am 50

Today, I am 50.
In many ways, I still feel 18.
The crepe paper skin on my hands tells me other wise.
Memories, that seem like yesterday to me, were decades ago.
It does not seem like that much time could have passed,
but when I add up all the memories between,
It seems like it must have been lifetimes ago.
So many people, who were part of my life daily,
have left, or I left, to chase a dream somewhere else,
and each of them eventually turned into some other,
but were ever replaced.
Lifetimes.
Not just one.
It’s like I spent a lifetime with each of them,
and when it came time to part,
another lifetime began.
When I was 18, I wrote:
“some friends we’ll not meet again
on the pathways that we choose,
and some we’ll see from time to time,
and some we’ll never loose.”
how unknowingly profound I was at 18.
what I didn’t really understand was that
the ones we see from time to time,
and the ones we never see again,
are both also the ones we never loose.
There are little pieces of me that exist
only because of those people.
They can never be lost.
Today, I am 50.
At least on the outside.
On the inside, where the memories live,
where I live,
I am 10, I am 18, I am 22, I am 30,
I am 100, I am 1000,
I am a newborn, and I am an ancient.
Today, I am.

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